You know that really short girl on your team wearing pink pants who has no idea she's even supposed to be chasing the ball?
The one you know will mess your dreams of winning the Tiny Tot Soccer State Championship up forever?
That would be us.
He He He.
I do have pictures, and will get them on the computer sometime.
Until then, just imagine E trying to roll her soccer ball around the field with her hands. (I did finally manage to tell her she could only use her feet.)
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
A "Real Coach"
Okay, so I must be really pathetic at this parent thing...
...but if it brings about hilarious comments like this, what can I say?
Today E has her first soccer practice. So, I told her so.
Says E: Are we doing this at our house, or at a real place.
(They're a little skeptical of me since they ended up taking ballet in the living room.)
Says Mom: Yes, and you'll even have a coach.
We went on from there about teams and soccer balls and shoes and such.
Then, I came upstairs.
This is what I'm hearing now:
E is singing to her sister about how she gets to RIDE in a REAL COACH to soccer.
Yes, my friends, E has no clue what a coach is.... she thinks it's the type Cinderella got on her night out on the town.
I guess it's good we're going, right?
Wow.
...but if it brings about hilarious comments like this, what can I say?
Today E has her first soccer practice. So, I told her so.
Says E: Are we doing this at our house, or at a real place.
(They're a little skeptical of me since they ended up taking ballet in the living room.)
Says Mom: Yes, and you'll even have a coach.
We went on from there about teams and soccer balls and shoes and such.
Then, I came upstairs.
This is what I'm hearing now:
E is singing to her sister about how she gets to RIDE in a REAL COACH to soccer.
Yes, my friends, E has no clue what a coach is.... she thinks it's the type Cinderella got on her night out on the town.
I guess it's good we're going, right?
Wow.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Regarding Dentists
Hate to break it to you all...
... but I did not go to the Dentist today.
I came up with all sorts of excuses. Consider:
1.) I never got a babysitter, so I would be towing three appendages. Not really feasible. Can you imagine what M would do while I was opening my mouth to the sky? (Let's not mention that I could have *cough* got a babysitter.)
2.) I decided that Justin needed to go first so that he could tell me all sorts of enlightening things about the dentist office. Like that it had a dentist in it, and a chair, and that they gave him a toothbrush at the end. I will feel much better knowing these things.
3.) Additionally, after canceling the appointment, I told my mother, and she said you must always cancel your first dentist appointment and make another one.
I am nothing if not obedient to my mother.
So, instead, I am home today saying things like:
- don't hit your sister
- don't kick your sister
- don't play with the door
- did you flush the toilet?
- you are not in charge of her
I will leave it up to your imagination as to whom I am saying each of those things to.
(who.. whom... who... I don't know....)
... but I did not go to the Dentist today.
I came up with all sorts of excuses. Consider:
1.) I never got a babysitter, so I would be towing three appendages. Not really feasible. Can you imagine what M would do while I was opening my mouth to the sky? (Let's not mention that I could have *cough* got a babysitter.)
2.) I decided that Justin needed to go first so that he could tell me all sorts of enlightening things about the dentist office. Like that it had a dentist in it, and a chair, and that they gave him a toothbrush at the end. I will feel much better knowing these things.
3.) Additionally, after canceling the appointment, I told my mother, and she said you must always cancel your first dentist appointment and make another one.
I am nothing if not obedient to my mother.
So, instead, I am home today saying things like:
- don't hit your sister
- don't kick your sister
- don't play with the door
- did you flush the toilet?
- you are not in charge of her
I will leave it up to your imagination as to whom I am saying each of those things to.
(who.. whom... who... I don't know....)
Saturday, September 11, 2010
What I Really Want
Today I want to live in an Apple Orchard.
We visited one this afternoon... I do have pictures and will post them... and I just wanted to sit down between the rows and rows of apple trees and not get up.
The air was just right, the breeze was lightly blowing, my children were running around and eating dirt and bruised pieces of fruit. It was lovely.
We rode a tractor to the trees, and every time we went over a bump, M giggled.
GQ spent his time rolling a large apple around and throwing it toward me like a ball. His nose was running, but since I didn't have a tissue, I ignored it.
E was looking for perfect apples, and filling her basket so full that she could hardly drag it behind her.
I am not sure how a person moves to an Apple Orchard when they know nothing about apples, or trees, or such. Or when they don't own apples, or trees, or such.
But I don't think this is a huge problem.
*****
On Tuesday I have my dentist appointment.
We have dental insurance again for the first time in 3 years.
I made the appointment while on some grand high of checking items off a list. Now, I am tempted at every moment possible to cancel it.
When I turned 18, I rebelliously told my mother I would not go to the dentist anymore, and that she had to cancel my appointment.
Actually, since I wasn't very rebellious, I think I asked my mother if I could be rebellious and tell her to cancel my appointment.
Either way, she did it.
Since then, I've gone about every 2 years because I have an extremely large guilt complex, and I must apparently cross my t's, dot my i's, and follow all the rules.
Oh, bother.
I do not want to go on Tuesday. I am wishing I was not going on Tuesday. I want to cancel Tuesday. I need an excuse not to go on Tuesday. I think I am getting sick on Tuesday.
Really, I think I am.
*****
Do you think if you live in an Apple Orchard, you have to go to the Dentist?
Can an apple a day keep the dentist away?
Please, tell me it is so.
I will start packing my bags tonight.
We visited one this afternoon... I do have pictures and will post them... and I just wanted to sit down between the rows and rows of apple trees and not get up.
The air was just right, the breeze was lightly blowing, my children were running around and eating dirt and bruised pieces of fruit. It was lovely.
We rode a tractor to the trees, and every time we went over a bump, M giggled.
GQ spent his time rolling a large apple around and throwing it toward me like a ball. His nose was running, but since I didn't have a tissue, I ignored it.
E was looking for perfect apples, and filling her basket so full that she could hardly drag it behind her.
I am not sure how a person moves to an Apple Orchard when they know nothing about apples, or trees, or such. Or when they don't own apples, or trees, or such.
But I don't think this is a huge problem.
*****
On Tuesday I have my dentist appointment.
We have dental insurance again for the first time in 3 years.
I made the appointment while on some grand high of checking items off a list. Now, I am tempted at every moment possible to cancel it.
When I turned 18, I rebelliously told my mother I would not go to the dentist anymore, and that she had to cancel my appointment.
Actually, since I wasn't very rebellious, I think I asked my mother if I could be rebellious and tell her to cancel my appointment.
Either way, she did it.
Since then, I've gone about every 2 years because I have an extremely large guilt complex, and I must apparently cross my t's, dot my i's, and follow all the rules.
Oh, bother.
I do not want to go on Tuesday. I am wishing I was not going on Tuesday. I want to cancel Tuesday. I need an excuse not to go on Tuesday. I think I am getting sick on Tuesday.
Really, I think I am.
*****
Do you think if you live in an Apple Orchard, you have to go to the Dentist?
Can an apple a day keep the dentist away?
Please, tell me it is so.
I will start packing my bags tonight.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Exremely Useless Trivia, because I cannot remember what I planned on saying... but it was really good... I promise
This week M has:
1. Drawn all over the chair and couch with a ball-point pen.
2. Kicked her brother repeatedly while I was two floors away.
3. Stolen her sister's doll and run circles around the house while she was chased.
4. Played so hard with GQ that he threw up from the exertion. (Yes, threw up. This is apparently something he does when he's upset. I can't wait to find out more about this particular talent of his.)
5. Been kicked out of her second ballet class because she refused to dance.
6. Gone successfully without an "accident" for one day. (I say "accident" because deciding you don't want to go on the potty is not really an "accident." Says Mom: M, why did you go potty in your underwear. Says M: Because I didn't go on the potty. Of course. Now I see.)
7. Lost books in bed privileges - yet again - for tearing pages out of the books - yet again.
Of course, she's done all this with her distinctinly Meggish flavor. The flavor that makes you go: "Sigh, she's still cute."
The little stinker.
*****
Dance is going well. I am back to teaching, which makes our week a little more interesting, and means that E gets to watch "Angelina Ballerina" while I'm busy. She is sooooo glad. She told the mother watching her all about each episode they watched and implored "please stop watching your baby, this is a really important part."
I am also taking a ballet class at the University. The first week I realized how much I missed teaching older girls. I wanted to walk around and turn their knees out, and pull their heels forward, and tell them to lift their chins. This week I realized that when you tell your body to jump repeatedly with pointed toes and tight knees, and to beat those jumps, when you haven't danced for six years... you almost die.
And when you're asked to do sit ups, when you always stunk at those anyway, and you've had three kids, and you now have the "elephant skin" on your stomach that you once made fun of the Modern teacher for having, it doesn't go so hot.
And when you need to remember an exercise after giving up half your brain in pregnancies, you very easily make a fool of yourself.
But it's all worth it for the high at the end, and for the fact that the afore-mentioned 3 children are snug in their beds when you get home...
...without you having to put them there.
*****
Time is different here. Justin stays longer at school, which means I must productively get to 7:00 without having made my children accuse me of being a meanie-head.
I've decided that if I just go slower, and take deep breaths, and realize that the morning is just a beginning, I do just fine.
Until 6:30, when I do not do just fine.
And I quote:
"Get out of the kitchen. Play anywhere but the kitchen. Please leave the kitchen."
"Scream. Scream. Scream."
That last quote can be attributed to either the children or myself. Take your pick.
*****
I have to speak on Sunday.
Unfortunately my in-laws are also in town.
I am fine making a fool of myself in front of a bunch of people whose names I can't remember, and who don't come to Primary anyway (my regular hang-out for the past six years).
People I do know?
Not so much.
*****
I am babbling in an attempt to make up for my silence lately. That might be overrated.
*****
The other night I had a dream that ocean animals came to live in a pond in my backyard. There were large whales splashing about energetically. They flew out of the sky to get to my pond.
I think this is evidence of insanity.
*****
Outside the sky is no color. It is Fall. I usually love Fall, but there are no mountains to breath Fall at me. So, it does not quite seem like Fall.
*****
This year we are remembering M's birthday. She has had a hard week with E's birthday, because she does not ever remember having a birthday of her own.
*****
I am now going to sleep for the remaining 15 minutes of nap-time.
Goodbye.
1. Drawn all over the chair and couch with a ball-point pen.
2. Kicked her brother repeatedly while I was two floors away.
3. Stolen her sister's doll and run circles around the house while she was chased.
4. Played so hard with GQ that he threw up from the exertion. (Yes, threw up. This is apparently something he does when he's upset. I can't wait to find out more about this particular talent of his.)
5. Been kicked out of her second ballet class because she refused to dance.
6. Gone successfully without an "accident" for one day. (I say "accident" because deciding you don't want to go on the potty is not really an "accident." Says Mom: M, why did you go potty in your underwear. Says M: Because I didn't go on the potty. Of course. Now I see.)
7. Lost books in bed privileges - yet again - for tearing pages out of the books - yet again.
Of course, she's done all this with her distinctinly Meggish flavor. The flavor that makes you go: "Sigh, she's still cute."
The little stinker.
*****
Dance is going well. I am back to teaching, which makes our week a little more interesting, and means that E gets to watch "Angelina Ballerina" while I'm busy. She is sooooo glad. She told the mother watching her all about each episode they watched and implored "please stop watching your baby, this is a really important part."
I am also taking a ballet class at the University. The first week I realized how much I missed teaching older girls. I wanted to walk around and turn their knees out, and pull their heels forward, and tell them to lift their chins. This week I realized that when you tell your body to jump repeatedly with pointed toes and tight knees, and to beat those jumps, when you haven't danced for six years... you almost die.
And when you're asked to do sit ups, when you always stunk at those anyway, and you've had three kids, and you now have the "elephant skin" on your stomach that you once made fun of the Modern teacher for having, it doesn't go so hot.
And when you need to remember an exercise after giving up half your brain in pregnancies, you very easily make a fool of yourself.
But it's all worth it for the high at the end, and for the fact that the afore-mentioned 3 children are snug in their beds when you get home...
...without you having to put them there.
*****
Time is different here. Justin stays longer at school, which means I must productively get to 7:00 without having made my children accuse me of being a meanie-head.
I've decided that if I just go slower, and take deep breaths, and realize that the morning is just a beginning, I do just fine.
Until 6:30, when I do not do just fine.
And I quote:
"Get out of the kitchen. Play anywhere but the kitchen. Please leave the kitchen."
"Scream. Scream. Scream."
That last quote can be attributed to either the children or myself. Take your pick.
*****
I have to speak on Sunday.
Unfortunately my in-laws are also in town.
I am fine making a fool of myself in front of a bunch of people whose names I can't remember, and who don't come to Primary anyway (my regular hang-out for the past six years).
People I do know?
Not so much.
*****
I am babbling in an attempt to make up for my silence lately. That might be overrated.
*****
The other night I had a dream that ocean animals came to live in a pond in my backyard. There were large whales splashing about energetically. They flew out of the sky to get to my pond.
I think this is evidence of insanity.
*****
Outside the sky is no color. It is Fall. I usually love Fall, but there are no mountains to breath Fall at me. So, it does not quite seem like Fall.
*****
This year we are remembering M's birthday. She has had a hard week with E's birthday, because she does not ever remember having a birthday of her own.
*****
I am now going to sleep for the remaining 15 minutes of nap-time.
Goodbye.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Useless Trivia
The manager of our local Hy-Vee just happens to be my neighbor.
This means that when I wake-up early and go to the grocery store so that I can take Justin to school at the same time (as a bus rider I know the joy of a ride every once in a while - thanks Libbi), I look like an idiot in front of someone I DO know.
Um, I think that sentence is illegally long, and makes very little sense.
Suffice it to say that all those funny lengths of hair that come after you have a baby were sticking straight up when I went to the store today, and I went anyway.
I've gotta get me a hat, I tell you what!
In other news, GQ is sick yet again. Last night he threw up on Justin. (Is it bad I was glad he threw up on Justin instead of in his bed?) He also has a runny nose again. Joy. I think we'll get better just in time for the Winter Flu to hit us.
This means that when I wake-up early and go to the grocery store so that I can take Justin to school at the same time (as a bus rider I know the joy of a ride every once in a while - thanks Libbi), I look like an idiot in front of someone I DO know.
Um, I think that sentence is illegally long, and makes very little sense.
Suffice it to say that all those funny lengths of hair that come after you have a baby were sticking straight up when I went to the store today, and I went anyway.
I've gotta get me a hat, I tell you what!
In other news, GQ is sick yet again. Last night he threw up on Justin. (Is it bad I was glad he threw up on Justin instead of in his bed?) He also has a runny nose again. Joy. I think we'll get better just in time for the Winter Flu to hit us.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Reasoning
Reasons for not posting:
I am now waking up at 5:30 am (when Justin gets up to catch his bus) to read my scriptures and work on my "One Page a Day." This means that: a) I use up my creative juice by 7:00 am, and b) I am tired by 9:00 pm (when I used to do such things as blog).
Since I don't see either of those things going away..... I don't know what to tell you. (Yes, all 3 of you who are disappointed that I haven't posted lately will have to cry, cry, cry.)
In other news:
E had her birthday on Monday. I did not make a cake (slacker mom) but convinced E that it was cooler to have pink cinnamon rolls instead. She said she had "the best day ever," so I guess it worked out.
I also started our in-house ballet classes today. M was excited until I told her that: a) I was going to be her ballet teacher, and b) we were having ballet at our house.
She said she did not want to live in "Inowa" if it was sooooo far from Miss. Stacey's ballet class.
She is potty-trained, except for whenever she decides that she isn't.
And then she isn't.
Justin says GQ is getting a tooth. I have yet to see it. But, he's certainly grumpy enough to be getting a tooth. In fact, right now he is trying to manhandle me away from the computer. Weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth. Since he is 1...
...he is succeeding.
I am now waking up at 5:30 am (when Justin gets up to catch his bus) to read my scriptures and work on my "One Page a Day." This means that: a) I use up my creative juice by 7:00 am, and b) I am tired by 9:00 pm (when I used to do such things as blog).
Since I don't see either of those things going away..... I don't know what to tell you. (Yes, all 3 of you who are disappointed that I haven't posted lately will have to cry, cry, cry.)
In other news:
E had her birthday on Monday. I did not make a cake (slacker mom) but convinced E that it was cooler to have pink cinnamon rolls instead. She said she had "the best day ever," so I guess it worked out.
I also started our in-house ballet classes today. M was excited until I told her that: a) I was going to be her ballet teacher, and b) we were having ballet at our house.
She said she did not want to live in "Inowa" if it was sooooo far from Miss. Stacey's ballet class.
She is potty-trained, except for whenever she decides that she isn't.
And then she isn't.
Justin says GQ is getting a tooth. I have yet to see it. But, he's certainly grumpy enough to be getting a tooth. In fact, right now he is trying to manhandle me away from the computer. Weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth. Since he is 1...
...he is succeeding.
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