Last Night

2:00 am: E, who has told me that it is not drinking milk before bed that brings about such things, turns on the light in the bathroom - right next to our bedroom - so she can use the facilities.

3:00 am: E comes in to tell me she has had a bad dream. I tell her that because Dad wakes up so early she can't stay with us, but I give her a hug and send her back to bed.

4:30 am: M yells from their room repeatedly that she has "peed." It is at this point that I recall having forgot to put her diaper on before bed. So, I get up, change sheets, change clothes and get her back to bed. Then I think, over and over, to escape that "I have to go back to sleep now before I have to wake up" duress that results in you NOT EVER going back to sleep: "I don't have to wake up until 5:30, I don't have to wake up until 5:30. It is okay, I don't have to wake up until 5:30."

5:00 am: Justin's alarm goes off one 1/2 hour early.

The End

*****

I have been telling E I will make pancakes for about 4 days. Something always comes up. I think if I don't do it today she will pull a Red Queen and yell: "Off with her head."

*****

M has all of her potty accidents on Sundays and Mondays. I am not sure why this is. She doesn't actually have an accident at Church, but she seems to take Sunday afternoons off after the pressure of staying dry during nursery.

*****

Things in Iowa go bad faster than at home. This means that when GQ spills milk on his blanket instead of it feeling crusty and dry it turns into an extremely smelly piece of fleece that you accidentally took to Church and that your son insists on carrying around with him.

Yes, the Woods apparently DO smell bad.

E turning 5

Blogger is being stupid..... (definitely not me being stupid!) so I can't fix the spacing on these, but here's E growing up.

Oh stop, stop I say!!!

The Girl in the Pink Pants

So excited for soccer to begin!!! (Someone's mother definitely needs to invest in some gym shorts. E only owns skirts. And a pair of pink pants. Is anyone surprised?)


After watching the other kids, E started striking this pose whenever the coaches talked. Pretty cute.

This is pre-"don't touch the ball with your hands" comment. They were supposed to be putting the ball through the cones. I kept thinking a coach would pull her aside and mention the cardinal rule of soccer... but alas, I had to wait until she rolled the ball my direction to enlighten the girl whose mom forgot to mention something so important.

M was very good at soccer practice. (Strange, I know.)

GQ, on the other hand, was just plain horrible. Not only was I responsible for the girl wearing pink pants and rolling a soccer ball around with her hands, I was also responsible for the screaming banshee on the sidelines.

GQ wanted to PLAY soccer. Not play with a ball on the sidelines... he wanted to run in and join the fun. I finally had to strap him down in the the stroller.

In my efforts to keep him from screaming I let him:

1. Pour a bottle of ice-cold water down his front

and

2. Draw all over himself with a ball-point pen

To no avail. He screamed anyway.

Don't let the smile fool you. Anyone want a 1 year old this Wednesday at 6:00?????

E's Birthday.

For E's birthday we went to the Children's Museum. I love having a membership, because we can just go for a little while, and then we can leave. I like mini-museum visits myself. You know, before the attitude level drops to negative levels.

GQ climbing in the produce section:


M and GQ looking at the fish. GQ makes a barking noise for any animal he sees now. But I can get him to meow on demand, which is my favorite noise of all. I will have to post a video of it sometime.

Working on a construction site. GQ could not stay here, he was eating the screws.

Blowing out her candles on her cake... I mean cinnamon rolls...

Isn't she a cute 5 year old?

That Would Be Us

You know that really short girl on your team wearing pink pants who has no idea she's even supposed to be chasing the ball?

The one you know will mess your dreams of winning the Tiny Tot Soccer State Championship up forever?

That would be us.

He He He.

I do have pictures, and will get them on the computer sometime.

Until then, just imagine E trying to roll her soccer ball around the field with her hands. (I did finally manage to tell her she could only use her feet.)

A "Real Coach"

Okay, so I must be really pathetic at this parent thing...

...but if it brings about hilarious comments like this, what can I say?

Today E has her first soccer practice. So, I told her so.

Says E: Are we doing this at our house, or at a real place.

(They're a little skeptical of me since they ended up taking ballet in the living room.)

Says Mom: Yes, and you'll even have a coach.

We went on from there about teams and soccer balls and shoes and such.
Then, I came upstairs.

This is what I'm hearing now:

E is singing to her sister about how she gets to RIDE in a REAL COACH to soccer.

Yes, my friends, E has no clue what a coach is.... she thinks it's the type Cinderella got on her night out on the town.

I guess it's good we're going, right?

Wow.

Regarding Dentists

Hate to break it to you all...

... but I did not go to the Dentist today.

I came up with all sorts of excuses. Consider:

1.) I never got a babysitter, so I would be towing three appendages. Not really feasible. Can you imagine what M would do while I was opening my mouth to the sky? (Let's not mention that I could have *cough* got a babysitter.)

2.) I decided that Justin needed to go first so that he could tell me all sorts of enlightening things about the dentist office. Like that it had a dentist in it, and a chair, and that they gave him a toothbrush at the end. I will feel much better knowing these things.

3.) Additionally, after canceling the appointment, I told my mother, and she said you must always cancel your first dentist appointment and make another one.

I am nothing if not obedient to my mother.

So, instead, I am home today saying things like:

- don't hit your sister
- don't kick your sister
- don't play with the door
- did you flush the toilet?
- you are not in charge of her

I will leave it up to your imagination as to whom I am saying each of those things to.

(who.. whom... who... I don't know....)

Pictures of Apple Orchard