Time Lapse Photography

Sunday Morning:

"Hello, I am a crooked, gray tooth that won't fall out that E enjoys disturbing her mother with by twisting me around in circles and from side to side."

Monday Morning:

Sometimes I do stupid things like chop off my daughter's hair with blunt scissors on our back porch.  Although, in my defense, she did ask me to do it.  And, they were the only scissors I could find.  And, it was perfectly straight until I tried to "cut layers" in it.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Also Monday Morning:  Title:  "Take my picture too, or I will scream like a banshee."

Tuesday Morning:

E - minus one gray, crooked tooth.  On only her 2nd endeavor at our house, the tooth fairy almost missed the much-anticipated event.  When she did investigate the bedroom, E was found to be awake, and the fairy had to leave the coins outside the door.  Also, despite having promised herself to "always give the same amount each time so that the kids would know what to expect" she completely forgot what she gave last time.  That was two weeks ago, people!

"Take my picture or I will scream like a banshee."

"Take my picture or I will kick you."

the end.

I Won A Contest, And So Can You!

Did you know I never win contests?  Never, ever, ever, ever, never, ever, ever, ever, never.  It's true.  But recently, I won a contest.  Yay!  And it was for a book!  Yay! 

Do you need proof?  I did.  (I was pretty sure some other "Jamie" won it, but no, it was me.)  If you don't believe me, look HERE .

This contest was held by my writing friend Elena.  She often has book contests, and since I've even won one now, you could too.  So, you should continue to check her blog out for future contests, good poetry, and other such wisdom.

Anyway, after I won this contest (and I was VERY excited) I got even more excited because someday soon I get a book in the mail.  Oh, wonder of wonders.  Like really.  Like this is making my week ten times better.  Mail, and a book.  What could be better?

And then, I kind of felt lame, because pretty much this is just my friend - not some random stranger - buying me a book.  And I don't need her to buy me books to be my friend.  After all, she's an amazing writer and sometimes she lets me read her stuff.  (Like "Thrushbeard" - my most favoritest - excellent grammar here - unpublished book ever.  Someday it will be published and I can re-read my store-bought copy instead of wishing I didn't politely delete the electronic version she sent me.)

So, I thought again of how excited I was to get the book, and I thought again of how my friend was buying me this book, and I thought about getting the book, and I thought about my friend sending it, and then I thought about it again, and really I was thinking about it a lot, and then I thought... I know, I'll pass it along.  (Not the book she's sending me.  Come on.  I won that in a contest, and it's my only prize EVER.  No touching, please!)  I mean, I'll pass along the whole "mail and a book" good thing along.

So, here's the deal.  Here's my book contest:

Rule #1:  If you are reading this post you MUST enter this contest.  Especially if you are my friend or a family member or a stranger or something (did you notice that's all of you??? I am sooo smart) and it seems weird to enter some contest where I would send you something.  This is to make me feel better, and that is what friends are for.  So, ENTER THE CONTEST, okay?  (There is a reason E is so bossy, you know.) 

Rule #2:  To enter the contest you have to push that obnoxious "follow me" button on the sidebar... because I can be a little ego-centric too, you know?  Actually, you don't have to push the button.  I don't really care.  But, it would be fun to see your picture and stuff.  And to know who was stalking me and stuff.  Okay, I know no one's stalking me.  Whatever.

Rule #3:  You get to pick which of my 10 favorite books you would like to read.  (Okay, I have more than 10 favorite books, and I definitely have more that are MORE my favorite.  But this is what I could think of tonight at 8:41 pm... so this is the list of books you could get from me.)  Pick a book, and if you win, that is what I will send you.

Rule #4:  You should tell me one of your favorite books.  Or not.  You know, I don't seem to be too rule-oriented tonight, so I guess you can do whatever you want... except not enter (and that includes you, Elena).

Rule #5:  You have to enter by next Wednesday.  That's the 6th of July. 

Rule #6:  I am NOT using one of those fancy number randomizers.  Like Elena, I will pick names out of a bowl.  This is the best way to pick winners.  I know, because it is the only way I have EVER won ANYTHING.  Remember?  So, if you want this to be perfectly fair or something... too bad.

Rule #7:  (Apparently I am rule-oriented tonight.)  You have to live somewhere that amazon.com can ship to.  I am not paying for shipping, only for books.  I am lame that way. 

Here's the list of books to pick from:

1.  Edward's Eyes -  by, Patricia MacLachlan - short and sweet, makes you cry, a perfect novel in my opinion.

2.  Mrs. Mike - by, Benedict Freedman - a standby re-read, romance, adventure, wisdom, a higher quality "Christy."

3.  These Is My Words - by, Nancy E. Turner - actually started reading this again right after I finished it.

4.  Crooked House - by, Agatha Christie (Actually this was supposed to be "Man in the Brown Suit" but that is out of print... STUPID.  So, this is my 2nd favorite Agatha Christie.) - I re-read "Man in the Brown Suit" once a year.  Look for it at your library!

5.  Avalon High - by, Meg Cabot - My favorite Meg Cabot.  King Arthur tale in highschool romance fashion.

6.  Howl's Moving Castle - by, Diana Wynne Jones - Every year on this one too.  I wish I could write like this.

7.  A Town Like Alice - by, Nevil Shute - A more serious read.  But one I've read lots.

8.  The Goose Girl - by, Shannon Hale - Everyone needs a good fairytale.

9.  Lonesome Dove - by, Larry McMurtry - Favorite quote from a headstone:  "Cheerful in all weather.  Never shirked a task.  Splendid behavior."

10.  Emily of New Moon - by, L.M. Montgomery - SOOOOOOO much better than the Anne series.  And it's only 3 books!

11.  Daughter of the Forest - by, Juliet Marillier - Made me cry.  A good fantasy read.

(I know that's not 10.  But I forgot about "Daughter of the Forest" until now, and it belongs on the list.  What?  Do you want me to kick "Lonesome Dove" off?  I think not!!!)

So, there you go Vern.  ENTER or risk deportation from my blog.

the end

wait.... I forgot two books (someone stop me now)

Addendum #1  Bird by Bird - by, Anne Lamott - a writing book, a life book, a good book.

Addendum #2  Gift from the Sea - by, Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Reverently and Quietly

Barely lived through Sacrament Meeting today.  Pretty sure we looked like "Popcorn Popping" as we tried to keep the children from giving each other black eyes. 

Luckily??? the Relief Society President was sitting behind us and offered M a book to look at.  (She licked it several times despite me hissing at her sideways through my mouth that she should stop.)

Was this intervention due to the time I handcuffed armed her on my lap and whispered threateningly: "If you don't stop climbing the bench in front of us, I will take you out to the car and make you sit in your car-seat. with the belt buckled up." ???

Or was this due to the time that Justin handcuffed armed her on his lap and whispered threateningly:  "If you don't stop kicking your sister, I will take you into the hall and make you sit on my lap and not move at all." ???

Or did it instead relate to the time I took E strongly by her arm and "marched her right out of the chapel."  That'll learn you!  Or not.  Trying to find a quiet corner to guilt-trip her into obedience proved difficult, and E grinned at me maliciously while I tried to politely convince her not to say mean things to M (in order to goad M into hitting her).  I think she was pretty sure the nursing mother behind us in the hall guaranteed her immunity from any real repurcussions.

Or perhaps it was after GQ found an elephant puppet on the floor and started spitting loudly (an elephant sound in our home) until I threw it over the bench and out of sight.

I am not particularly sure.

Nor do I want to investigate it much further.

Zoo

Before I headed to camp we went down to the small Moline Zoo.  It was the perfect size and the perfect temperature, and everybody had a great time.  (Who wouldn't when Grandma even bought pony rides?)

Look at my skills with this family picture.  Cut Justin right out.  I am soooooo talented.

The birds loved Grandma Paula.  They even ate her hair!

E had a great time feeding the birds.  M - of course - did not.  She may be willing to jump off banisters or run into streets, but feeding goats or birds is asking way, way, way too much.

GQ didn't know there were so many animals.  I love how he says "Giraffe."

Why would I look at the camera, Mom?

And this was the ride back.  Cute boy.

Tempting

This whole "goodbye forever" thing is seriously tempting.
But I promise I'm working on it.

Meanwhile, I read an entire recipe book on desserts yesterday.  (Instead of folding the laundry, doing my writing, posting about the zoo, posting about camp, answering e-mails, or reading my scriptures).  Today I am making a chocolate loaf with peanut butter cream cheese spread.

It was between that and the chocolate covered marshmallows.

Goodbye Forever

Today E was drawing a sidewalk picture when GQ "messed it up."  She began yelling at him, and I tried to point out that he was really only trying to help.

Said E to GQ:  G, I know you were trying to help.... but really, you just.... kind of.... sort of..... messed it all up..... you know?

******

In other news, I am running away to Girl's Camp this week.  I just have to figure out how to talk to teenagers, and I should be good.  (Unfortunately, I didn't really know how to do that when I was a teenager, we'll see how it goes.)

Until next week....

1984, etc.

Justin said the other day that he was pretty sure that if our family lived in the novel 1984, E would have turned us in a million times by now.

With that said, the following conversation only makes me laugh more.

Mom:  E, you will have to go the dentist soon.  Everyone has to go before kindergarten.
E:  And I will tell him that we never remember to brush my teeth at night.

Just like that.  No wondering if he would even ask.  Just making sure to be up-front about it all.

Thanks for volunteering information about my irresponsibility so easily.

*****

This morning I went to throw a diaper away and found that one of our mouse traps had done its job.  It's been a while since we've had a mouse... better weather and newly planted corn fields make us less interesting... so I was more surprised than normal. 

Yep, I jumped and ran in the house screaming.  I bet you wish we had a camera.

My girls, however, were slightly less disturbed.  Both of them wanted to go see the mouse.  Since I don't need to pass on my manifold fears and psychosis, I let them. 

Mom:  "You know it will be dead," I said.  "It won't be cute."

M:  "It will be funny, Mom."

Later she told me it was very cute, and that I was wrong to say that things aren't cute when they are dead.

If you're in Utah...

... my cousin Laura has started a cake business.......

Her cakes are very yummy.  My favorite would have to be the Mint Chocolate Cake.  I was going to lift some lovely pictures of her blog, but I am not smart enough for that.  But here's a reminder of previous cakes she's done for me:

M enjoyed this for her 2nd birthday.  She'd been throwing up all day, but she definitely did not throw up this cake.

This was GQ's cake.  And yes, it is slightly girly, but we were pretending it was E's birthday because she was traumatized about the whole moving and not knowing people to invite to her party thing. 



Doesn't he look like he's enjoying his cake???  Yep, that's a Mint Chocolate Cake right there.  (When you're the mom, and the kiddo is only one YOU get to pick the flavors.)

Anyway, if you need a cake in the future, check it out:

JaneyCake