Closet Klepto

Um, I think there's a scripture somewhere that says that if you borrow something and you don't return it then you're pretty much a thief and robber.

I'd look it up, but wouldn't that just condemn me more to write it all out in black and white?

Speaking of which, is it considered black and white if the writing is just floating around in the netherworld of the world wide web? I really think not. So, I promise to disavow all knowledge of this post of admittance in any future moments.

Let's consider the evidence:

E: Mom, isn't that purple Barbie the one we can't play with because she's not really ours?
M: Um, yeah.
E: I saw her in the trunk.
M: Yeah. We need to take that back...

But have I taken it back. Not really. Even though we "borrowed" her in early December. Even though the true owner lives two doors down from me. Apparently walking ten steps to return said Barbie is much too difficult.

More evidence? Oh, don't worry. It's plenteous.

Consider the pillowcase currently hanging out on one of my pillows. This pillowcase dates back from the first month of our marriage when Justin and I house-sat for some family friends in Vegas. While there are several reasons these kind people probably regret allowing us newlyweds to house-sit (let's just say I hadn't learned to tell Justin that we were in fact turning the air conditioning off of "freeze the house down" levels) one that they don't know of is my horrible thievery. Yes, I have their pillowcase.

Honestly, I tried to return it once. But no one was home. And I just never got back to it. Finally, a few years later, I gave up and started using it. Call out the police.

Or, there are the two pair of underwear I have of E's cousin.

Or, there is the movie I have of my Aunt Becky's. (I told her once I had it, she insisted she'd never owned the movie.... I guess I've had that one a long time.)

I could go on.

Really, I could. And I would, if Justin weren't home, and it weren't much more exciting to talk to a real person.

So, if you're missing anything... I probably took it. Sorry. Really. I am.