E (as she authoritatively reads from her little golden book of Bible stories): Adam was once a naked prophet.... right, Mom?
Mom (with a pause): Right.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The Chili That Ruined Our Food Storage...
So, last month, in the midst of all my un-nesting, I gave up on cooking.
For about three weeks I cooked 1-2 times a week. And that's if Justin was lucky. Luckily, he's nice enough to just scrounge without telling me to go out and get a real job. Of course, maybe that's only because he doesn't have a real job either. What derelicts we are! Anyway, one Sunday I decided that since I hadn't cooked since last Sunday I would/might/maybe/possibly, cook. Of course, I hadn't been shopping lately either. So, that made the whole cooking thing a little difficult. Add to that the afore-mentioned scrounging, and I'd have to say the outlook was pretty shaky.
In the end, I decided I would cook some bake potatoes and put cheese on them. (Yes... that does count as cooking. After all, I did have to WASH them, and POKE HOLES in them - although I'm pretty sure they wouldn't really blow up if I forgot this step, and WRAP THEM in tinfoil. I even had to turn on the oven, and get out the pre-shredded cheese. This is intensive stuff, my friends. But I did it. Oh yes, I did it.)
Afterward, I went downstairs and got a can of our food storage chili so Justin could have more than baked potatoes with cheese. (I thought about chopping up green onions, but that was much too difficult.) Sadly, when I got the can upstairs both Justin and I couldn't help but look at it in disdain.
Because, my friends, that was not chili. It couldn't be. It just couldn't. And there was no way we could possibly eat it. (Unless we were starving... which is convenient since that is what food storage is for, after all.)
This is not to say this was a bad kind of chili. I purposefully didn't buy a disgusting brand. But Justin and I have been exposed to real chili now. And I'm afraid there is no going back. Needless to say, the canned chili went back downstairs. Cheese potatoes ruled the day, and rotation went out the window. Oh well. At least, we can always chuck the cans at all those people coming to steal our food storage. Waste not, want not!!!
Below is the recipe which foiled our rotation efforts (taken from "Bride & Groom: First and Forever Cookbook"- cheesy name, yes):
1 T bacon grease or veg. oil
2 med yellow onions, chopped - It looks like a lot of onion when you cut it up, but you do want it all.
3 T chopped garlic
3 T chili powder
2 T paprika
1 T cumin
2 tsp dried oregano
1 lb beef chuck
1 lb italian sausage links (removed from casings and crumbled) - This is much too difficult for me, I just buy the italian sausage that looks like hamburger meat.
2 tsp kosher salt - I use regular salt.
2 cans (28 oz each) crushed tomatoes with puree
1 can (15 oz) kidney beans (washed and drained) - I think it would be good with 2 cans, but I always forget until I'm eating it.
1 T minced canned chipotle chilies in adobo sauce - I always use more. Once I used the whole can because I didn't want to waste it. Not such a good idea. But I definitely always use more than it says.
Heat the oil on medium heat.
Add onions and garlic.
Cook 8-10 minutes.
Add chili powder, paprika, cumin, and oregano. Stir.
Add meat and 1 tsp salt. Cook 8-10 minutes on medium-high heat.
Add remaining ingredients.
Reduce heat to low and simmer for 1 hour.
And yes, it's probably bad for you... just like everything else I make.... ENJOY!
For about three weeks I cooked 1-2 times a week. And that's if Justin was lucky. Luckily, he's nice enough to just scrounge without telling me to go out and get a real job. Of course, maybe that's only because he doesn't have a real job either. What derelicts we are! Anyway, one Sunday I decided that since I hadn't cooked since last Sunday I would/might/maybe/possibly, cook. Of course, I hadn't been shopping lately either. So, that made the whole cooking thing a little difficult. Add to that the afore-mentioned scrounging, and I'd have to say the outlook was pretty shaky.
In the end, I decided I would cook some bake potatoes and put cheese on them. (Yes... that does count as cooking. After all, I did have to WASH them, and POKE HOLES in them - although I'm pretty sure they wouldn't really blow up if I forgot this step, and WRAP THEM in tinfoil. I even had to turn on the oven, and get out the pre-shredded cheese. This is intensive stuff, my friends. But I did it. Oh yes, I did it.)
Afterward, I went downstairs and got a can of our food storage chili so Justin could have more than baked potatoes with cheese. (I thought about chopping up green onions, but that was much too difficult.) Sadly, when I got the can upstairs both Justin and I couldn't help but look at it in disdain.
Because, my friends, that was not chili. It couldn't be. It just couldn't. And there was no way we could possibly eat it. (Unless we were starving... which is convenient since that is what food storage is for, after all.)
This is not to say this was a bad kind of chili. I purposefully didn't buy a disgusting brand. But Justin and I have been exposed to real chili now. And I'm afraid there is no going back. Needless to say, the canned chili went back downstairs. Cheese potatoes ruled the day, and rotation went out the window. Oh well. At least, we can always chuck the cans at all those people coming to steal our food storage. Waste not, want not!!!
Below is the recipe which foiled our rotation efforts (taken from "Bride & Groom: First and Forever Cookbook"- cheesy name, yes):
1 T bacon grease or veg. oil
2 med yellow onions, chopped - It looks like a lot of onion when you cut it up, but you do want it all.
3 T chopped garlic
3 T chili powder
2 T paprika
1 T cumin
2 tsp dried oregano
1 lb beef chuck
1 lb italian sausage links (removed from casings and crumbled) - This is much too difficult for me, I just buy the italian sausage that looks like hamburger meat.
2 tsp kosher salt - I use regular salt.
2 cans (28 oz each) crushed tomatoes with puree
1 can (15 oz) kidney beans (washed and drained) - I think it would be good with 2 cans, but I always forget until I'm eating it.
1 T minced canned chipotle chilies in adobo sauce - I always use more. Once I used the whole can because I didn't want to waste it. Not such a good idea. But I definitely always use more than it says.
Heat the oil on medium heat.
Add onions and garlic.
Cook 8-10 minutes.
Add chili powder, paprika, cumin, and oregano. Stir.
Add meat and 1 tsp salt. Cook 8-10 minutes on medium-high heat.
Add remaining ingredients.
Reduce heat to low and simmer for 1 hour.
And yes, it's probably bad for you... just like everything else I make.... ENJOY!
Friday, June 26, 2009
I Did It...
...I bought diapers for Thing Three...
a.k.a.
G.Q.Wood
a.k.a.
Prince Charming
...Bet you can't guess who calls him that last one...
a.k.a.
G.Q.Wood
a.k.a.
Prince Charming
...Bet you can't guess who calls him that last one...
Spying and Lessons
Last night it got hot enough in our house that M could not sleep. Justin went to work clearing the dead air out of the girls' room by opening all the windows and blinds to full steam. (No, I don't think "full steam" actually works there... after all we are not riding on a cruise ship, but whatever). While he cleared out the air, and before he closed the windows and finally flipped the switch for the A.C. he held M and looked out the darkened window.
Amazing the things you see when you look out a darkened window at 10:30.
Especially when you live next door to an apartment of single UVU students.
Soon enough one of the boys emerged from the apartment with his girlfriend.
Of course, spying is not quite the same with M in tow. She keeps us honest. As soon as she saw our neighbor she began yelling out the window:
"Hi.... Hi.... Hi....."
Our neighbor and his girlfriend looked around, confused. But they could see nothing. So they moved onto the car where a little "leaning" began to take place.
With the change in "action," M determined to change her vocabulary as well.
Amazing the things you see when you look out a darkened window at 10:30.
Especially when you live next door to an apartment of single UVU students.
Soon enough one of the boys emerged from the apartment with his girlfriend.
Of course, spying is not quite the same with M in tow. She keeps us honest. As soon as she saw our neighbor she began yelling out the window:
"Hi.... Hi.... Hi....."
Our neighbor and his girlfriend looked around, confused. But they could see nothing. So they moved onto the car where a little "leaning" began to take place.
"Uh Oh"
she said to Daddy.
We're training them young.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Light-Bulb Ideas
I just had a sudden realization:
Since M has been de-binkyed, we can just pass those pink germ-fests along to her brother. Talk about a hand-me down.
And maybe size 3 diapers will work fine for him too. I can just roll them up at the waist like sweat pants.
We are covered!!!
(Okay, so I'm obviously avoiding real work again. At least I cleaned the kitchen. Now I have an excuse not to cook. I wouldn't want to mess it up again so soon, now would I? It's all about doing the right kind of work... the work that keeps you from doing other work. I am extremely talented.)
Since M has been de-binkyed, we can just pass those pink germ-fests along to her brother. Talk about a hand-me down.
And maybe size 3 diapers will work fine for him too. I can just roll them up at the waist like sweat pants.
We are covered!!!
(Okay, so I'm obviously avoiding real work again. At least I cleaned the kitchen. Now I have an excuse not to cook. I wouldn't want to mess it up again so soon, now would I? It's all about doing the right kind of work... the work that keeps you from doing other work. I am extremely talented.)
Un-Nesting
I am currently participating in the un-nesting phase... also known as anti-nesting. For your information, anti-nesting results in things like this:
And this:
I am not thinking of getting over it soon. Speaking of which, I am also behind on the preparation department. Grand total of items purchased for upcoming July child: ZERO.
No diapers.
No binkys.
No clothes.
This is not to say the child will be naked. (E would be very concerned if that were the case).
You see, usually when I find out whether I'm having a boy or a girl I go to the store and purchase "the first outfit." But with this baby I received a very cute outfit in the mail from my sister before I had a chance to do that. Then I received three boxes of clothes (two from Em, one from Kelli). We also received other gifts from interested parties obsessed with the idea of a Wood boy. Needless to say, this boy will be dressed in style.
Which comes to another point: I think in my house my children will be glad if they are the ones getting hand-me downs. M gets both E's old clothes, and her cousin Annie's. And Annie has cute clothes! I'm always telling Libbi that when I come to visit I'm excited when Annie has a cute new outfit. And as for this boy... let's just say Em has good taste too. It's poor E that's stuck with the $5 shirts from WalMart.
But back to the point (if there was a point)... I suppose I should gear up and get out of the anti-nesting phase. You know, clean the house, cook a meal, buy some diapers.
But apparently I decided to write this post instead.
Oh well.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
On Monday...
... I had a fight with my freezer.
It threw my dessert back at me - the one I was making that had an oreo crust and mint ice cream and fudge and whipped cream. I ate this dessert last week at a party and liked it so much I decided to make it. Very rarely do things taste good to me when I'm pregnant, so when they do, I generally become obsessed. I decided on Monday that I would not make dinner and that I would make dessert. It seemed like a great idea.
Until my freezer got involved. You see, my freezer is one of those idiotic freezers that is the width of a sheet of paper - turned sideways. Add to this the fact that the door doesn't even open all the way because of the wall, and you've got a disaster waiting to happen. I can't even fit frozen pizzas in my freezers, which is just soooooo wrong.
So, I was trying to fit my 9x13 pan into the lovely freezer. This meant I had to hold the pan VERTICALLY and thread it into the freezer. There is no way to describe this properly, because there's no way you believe me that you have to actually hold the pan vertically. But I assure you, I do. Luckily, this went okay with Step One: freeze oreo crust, and with Step Two: freeze ice cream. But for Step Three: freeze melted hot fudge, the whole vertical method wasn't really working out for me. Especially since the melted hot fudge was rapidly resulting in melted mint ice cream. I needed a solution.
My eventual theory was to get all the hot fudge at one end of the pan and then - REALLY QUICKLY - invert the pan vertically and thread into the freezer, all before the fudge worked its way downward and out of the pan.
This was a DUMB idea!!!!!!
Just in case you didn't figure this out yourself.
And I knew it was dumb. Really, I did. But what choice did I have? The pan does not go into the freezer unless it is held vertically.
So, I tried it. And it resulted in hot fudge all over the kitchen floor (which I had just cleaned because I clean the floor on Mondays.... speaking of which, I'm not sure why I do that because something ALWAYS happens right after).
Anyway, I have written several posts about this tragic event in my head. They are all very funny, and I wish you could read them. But I have been too lazy to write anything down until now, and I'm sure my mental genius has dissipated greatly since the actual event. Plus I took no pictures which would really have helped with visualization.
I say only this:
Last time, when my stupid - E says I can't says stupid, but luckily she can't read yet - anyway, last time my stupid freezer threw something at me it was tomato sauce from a tamale pie. (Actually from ten tamale pies I was making in an exchange. I had to stack them tipped sideways in the freezer because they happened to be wider than a slip of paper turned sideways.) This was messy - pools of tomato sauce on the bottom of the freezer which only stopped growing when the pies finally froze -but I got over it. I mean, it's just tomato sauce right?
But hot fudge?
All those gobs of beautiful hot fudge, running down my freezer door, piled on the floor of the kitchen????
That is not fair. I LIKE eating hot fudge.
But somehow it seems wrong to get a spoon and sit down on the floor and eat hot fudge off the floor of your kitchen.
Even if you did just clean it that morning.
It threw my dessert back at me - the one I was making that had an oreo crust and mint ice cream and fudge and whipped cream. I ate this dessert last week at a party and liked it so much I decided to make it. Very rarely do things taste good to me when I'm pregnant, so when they do, I generally become obsessed. I decided on Monday that I would not make dinner and that I would make dessert. It seemed like a great idea.
Until my freezer got involved. You see, my freezer is one of those idiotic freezers that is the width of a sheet of paper - turned sideways. Add to this the fact that the door doesn't even open all the way because of the wall, and you've got a disaster waiting to happen. I can't even fit frozen pizzas in my freezers, which is just soooooo wrong.
So, I was trying to fit my 9x13 pan into the lovely freezer. This meant I had to hold the pan VERTICALLY and thread it into the freezer. There is no way to describe this properly, because there's no way you believe me that you have to actually hold the pan vertically. But I assure you, I do. Luckily, this went okay with Step One: freeze oreo crust, and with Step Two: freeze ice cream. But for Step Three: freeze melted hot fudge, the whole vertical method wasn't really working out for me. Especially since the melted hot fudge was rapidly resulting in melted mint ice cream. I needed a solution.
My eventual theory was to get all the hot fudge at one end of the pan and then - REALLY QUICKLY - invert the pan vertically and thread into the freezer, all before the fudge worked its way downward and out of the pan.
This was a DUMB idea!!!!!!
Just in case you didn't figure this out yourself.
And I knew it was dumb. Really, I did. But what choice did I have? The pan does not go into the freezer unless it is held vertically.
So, I tried it. And it resulted in hot fudge all over the kitchen floor (which I had just cleaned because I clean the floor on Mondays.... speaking of which, I'm not sure why I do that because something ALWAYS happens right after).
Anyway, I have written several posts about this tragic event in my head. They are all very funny, and I wish you could read them. But I have been too lazy to write anything down until now, and I'm sure my mental genius has dissipated greatly since the actual event. Plus I took no pictures which would really have helped with visualization.
I say only this:
Last time, when my stupid - E says I can't says stupid, but luckily she can't read yet - anyway, last time my stupid freezer threw something at me it was tomato sauce from a tamale pie. (Actually from ten tamale pies I was making in an exchange. I had to stack them tipped sideways in the freezer because they happened to be wider than a slip of paper turned sideways.) This was messy - pools of tomato sauce on the bottom of the freezer which only stopped growing when the pies finally froze -but I got over it. I mean, it's just tomato sauce right?
But hot fudge?
All those gobs of beautiful hot fudge, running down my freezer door, piled on the floor of the kitchen????
That is not fair. I LIKE eating hot fudge.
But somehow it seems wrong to get a spoon and sit down on the floor and eat hot fudge off the floor of your kitchen.
Even if you did just clean it that morning.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Is it bad...
... when you're leaving swim lessons and your daughter says:
"Mom, I needed to go to the bathroom, but now I don't?"
"Mom, I needed to go to the bathroom, but now I don't?"
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