I Am A Big Fat Liar

Today my children woke up at 6:00 a.m.

Their nights have evened out since we put GQ in the room, and everyone has been much pleasanter. I have enjoyed this.

But today, it was 6:00 a.m.

E knows she is not supposed to get out of bed until 7:00, so she:

-gets off her bed
-opens the door
-slams the door
-runs to our room
-looks at the digital clock
-runs back to her room
-opens the door
-slams the door
-gets back on her bed

Lather, Wash, Repeat.

Or something like that.


Unfortunately, after one or so of these sessions, the whole room is awake.

Like a good mother, I kept my eyes glued shut each time she came to check the time in our room so that she would think I was sleeping. Who wants to start the routine at 6:00 a.m.?

Justin, however, made the mistake of smiling at her at about 6:30... round three or four of the cycle.

"Wait," said E, once aware of this exciting development, "I need to go get M."

And when M leaves the room, GQ yells: "AAAAAHHHHHHHH" at the top of his lungs.

Or something like that.

Good morning everyone.

Needless to say, by 2:00 pm I had the following experiences:

M was kicking and screaming in the middle of the floor at Grandma's because someone gave her a piece of paper that - GASP - had been ripped.

E was hyperventilating because she could not draw a flag with white stars. Both Grandma and I tried to help her by coloring around empty white spaces.

I was mean.

And Grandma "didn't know as much as her."

Finally, I decided to go home. Within 10 minutes everyone except GQ, who took a lovely nap at Grandma's, had fallen asleep.

I radioed in our impending arrival and Justin and I transferred the girls to their beds.

When E looked up at me, I stated:

"It is time for bed. Go to sleep."

Later, when she had to use the bathroom, we let her out. Then, I let her put on jammies and have a snack.

E looked up at us happily. After all, it's really special when your parents make allowances for you and let you hang out with them after bedtime.

"Mom, I never get to eat this late at night," she said.

Let me tell you, I am very lucky E can't tell time on analog clocks yet.

Because it was only 6:30.