Bad Stories about Bulls, Rattlesnakes, Raw Turkeys, Dead Mice, and Tubby Poop

On Sunday I had to think of 5 pointless/interesting/funny items about myself. The following is one that I came up with:

When I was little, my family took me to the rodeo and told me that - at some point during the action - the bulls would be let out to run amongst the crowd. They told me that the crowd would put their feet up into the air, and that the bulls would run across everyone's boots.

I did not have boots, and was concerned, so I decided I would hide under my chair.

At this point I was told that it was also commonplace - during the rodeo - to let rattlesnakes out into the stands to slither about everyone's feet.

And, oh yes, I believed.

I will have you also know that these stories were not told to me by 14-17 year old boys - as one would think - but also by my Uncle and Aunt. This is because it is fairly easy/fun/satisfying to tease Jamie Robyn.

In an effort to let this sporting fun continue - what with the distance and everything - I will share the following stories:

1. Our family had Thanksgiving on Saturday. This was because my mother was in town, and I was able to "make" Thanksgiving Dinner without actually touching a raw turkey, or pulling any of its innards out. I still cook chicken by picking the raw meat up with tongs, so this was an accomplishment. I don't think I could have picked up a turkey with tongs. Everyone was glad my mother was around to bring in the holidays.

2. We have so far caught 7 mice - and I have managed to see ZERO. This morning I crawled in the van through the wrong door and shut my eyes while Justin got rid of the latest catch. I really do not want to see a dead mouse.

3. I have decided that GQ will now be bathed complete with swim diaper. After having to clean up 3 children and a tubby full of toys after a not-so-solid poop episode... I think this will be the best option. Don't you?